Switched my hosting to lighttpd due to the smaller memory footprint and such.
It seems ALOT faster for at least https://www.sfuarc.com than apache. And my server load doesn't get as high.. I'm prettty sure it has todo with BML / Fotobuilder.. Its just not designed for a server like mine.
If anyone notices any problems with my site(s) now, if they could let me know that'll be awesome..
Eventually I'll be getting my own beefy dedicated server, but for now i'll stick with what i have :)